Archive for February, 2010

From close to open

Posted in blah, express on 02/28/2010 by whatevertoni

When we get our hearts broken, it takes a while to be whole again. In my case I have no idea if it would ever be whole again. I don’t know. I really don’t know what is the state of my heart right now. I guess it cannot mend by itself. Another question would enter my mind once again. Will I ever love again? Am I still capable? Tectonic plates have moved on but my heart still grieves for what I have lost. My heart still grieves for the love that was rejected big time. My heart is traumatized to be even open up again. I am just completely bothered by the fact that I am still alone and I seem to be avoiding close relationships. In the surface, I seem to be trying to open up but deep inside me close relationships scare the shit out of me. Oh God help me open up.


After the dust has settled pt.2 or the end?

Posted in blah, express on 02/18/2010 by whatevertoni

“Very few can identify the beginning of love. When people become more than friends but less than lovers – such an indefinable relationship changes slowly over time.”

The story has not even started when I last wrote an entry. We were just gaining momentum, but went in an abrupt stop.

Going solo

Posted in blah, express, love?! with tags , , on 02/18/2010 by whatevertoni


Many people may surround us, but in our own little word we find ourselves standing alone.

We don’t have to be alone to feel lonely.

Cheers to everyone who is going through a rough time! Cheers to the people with empty hearts. Cheers to the broken-hearted people! Cheers to the people who put on a mask to hide everything underneath! Cheers to the people standing alone after everyone has left!

It’s painful. It’s difficult. It’s killing you right now.

Don’t worry.

It will pass. It will pass. You just have to make it through alive. Stand firm. Everything will be better soon.


After the dust has settled

Posted in blah, express, love?! with tags on 02/09/2010 by whatevertoni

Angry words thrown from all directions. Everything has been said and done.  Pain resided a long time inside me until it almost ate me alive. Thank God for forgiveness. Grudge no longer lingers in my heart. I no longer desire for the kiss of death.

I’m becoming happy again. No, it’s not lonely to journey alone. I recently discovered the bliss of being single. I found peace in appreciating everything that comes my way.

Am I playing safe? Am I still open for love? Can I still risk for love?

Someone out there is threatening my peaceful single life, causing an unusual stir in my heart.

The story does not end here.