FORBIDDEN: The closer I get to you (Chaera fanfic)

I’ve always lived like this, keeping a comfortable distance.

My eyes popped open upon hearing Bom’s heavy feet. Woah! I have never been this close to Chaerin’s face. Two inches is so CLOSE! Awkward! Well, for me it is awkward. Chaerin is still asleep, dead to the world around her. I quickly pulled my face a few inches away, afraid to be so close with Chaerin. We are close friends, almost like sisters, but this physical closeness is just too uncomfortable for me. I don’t know what the hell is wrong with me, too close also means too distressing for me. I guess I have subconsciously built walls around me. Not a lot of people can ever penetrate those walls. But there are just some people who can see right through those walls and they can find their way to see the real me.

I can’t let go of what’s in front of me here.

I’m still recovering from the shock of getting to close to Chaerin. It slip off my mind that she has invaded my territory a few hours ago. It’s starting to get bright outside, just enough to illuminate Chaerin’s lovely face. Wow, she doesn’t look so fierce right now while in a deep slumber. Seeing her gentle side right now, I just can’t believe that I was once intimidated by her mere presence. I’m sure guys and girls, too would love to trade places with me right now. I’m just here lying beside C to the L.  I can’t help but be curious if anyone has been in her heart. We don’t talk about our love life in much detail. I also don’t want to be too invading. We do have a very comfortable relationship. However, just when I think that I know her really well, she comes up with something that surprises me.

I’d never sing of love, if it doesn’t exist.

I never thought any person can feel devoid of love. I’m not looking for love and I’m certainly not looking for a man to love. These days, men just don’t appeal too much to me. Sure, I love boy-watching but nothing more than that. I don’t know. I always get awkward around guys. It’s like my so-called natural charm turns off when there’s a guy around. Well, not for CL. She’s charming as always whether or not there are boys around. I will forever wonder where her confidence and charisma are coming from.

I had sworn to myself that I’m content with loneliness.

I lay on my back. I don’t think it’s wise to psychoanalyze CL while she’s this close and I’m facing her. I might just end up falling in love with her. ha. ha. ha. Like it’s even possible. Honestly, I don’t take the three year ban of no boyfriend seriously. If I fall in love, it will just happen and there’s no stopping it.  I have to admit it does get lonely. It’s always nice to have a security blanket of love. It’s always nice to be sweet and intimate with someone. But these days, the most intimate moments I have is with Chaerin. Weird, right? But I am actually happy about it.

And I’m on my way to believing.

I close my eyes again. I did not actually have a good rest. It’s the big night tonight. This is the night we’ve all been preparing for. It’s MAMA night, I’m not actually expecting much. I’m already glad that 2NE1 is nominated for various categories. I do hope that everything will go well tonight.

Five minutes, I just need five minutes to calm my mind.

“Ow!” I shrieked as Chaerin shifted her weight almost on top of me. She’s hugging me and her face is near my right shoulder and neck. Here we go again. Her sweetness attacks me again.

“Unnie, get up now and take a shower,” she said in a really low voice.

“How is that possible when you’re almost pinning me down?”

Chaerin is shifting her position. She turns to face me. Her face is so close to mine again. I find it odd that I’m actually okay with it. I am actually comfortable after feeling that she’s very much comfortable this way.

“It’s the big night, unnie. Let’s conquer the stage, let’s conquer the world.”

I’m surprised that she actually has no morning breath. Why oh why doesn’t she have morning breath? Why does she have to be perfect all the time?

She hugs me again and burried her face in my chest this time. I can’t hide my awkwardness. But somehow it feels right this way. I hug her back. The feeling of being protective rushes inside me. I just want to protect her.

“Yeah, I hope everything goes well tonight.” She doesn’t respond. Baby Rin seems asleep again. This time she’s asleep on my chest while hugging me. I close my eyes as well. This feels right. This is right.

Leave me with some kind of proof that it’s not a dream.

*******************************************************************

Author’s notes

The words in italic are lyrics from Paramore’s “Only Exception.” This is still from Dara’s point of view. Do you want more action? haha. I will get to that. For now, I’m still developing what Dara actually feels. I’m still trying to get you guys inside Dara’s head and heart.

I’ll try to write from CL’s perception. But I think it’s going to be hard for me. She’s crazy unpredictable, right? hehe. That’s why I end up writing from someone’s point of view. There’s no better person than Dara. Chaera love is always obvious. No doubt!

Do you have any suggestions? Go ahead and leave a comment. It will be greatly appreciated.

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7 Responses to “FORBIDDEN: The closer I get to you (Chaera fanfic)”

  1. bleighton_chaera Says:

    ..nice update,i love the song too,really suited for this fic..
    suggestions?uhm how about chaerin waking up,wonder what will be her reactions,kkk..anyway hope you update soon..i love it!

  2. nice to see u’ve updated~~ ChaeRa have alot of moments together, these two are like always together lol ^.^ and Dara is totally adores her Baby Rin. Hmm, suggestions? maybe CL’s pov next, or like in Dara’s recent me2day update about how CL comforted her when she got scared on the plane? hehehe hope to see u update soon ^^

  3. i really wish you would update this again ! i love reading the first 2 parts !

  4. FIGHTING!!! WOWOW!

    UPDATE TIME

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