Archive for July, 2011

Forbidden Series (Chaera fanfic)

Posted in 2NE1, blackjacks, Chaera, Chaerin, CL, Dara, Darin, Sandara on 07/30/2011 by whatevertoni

First and second fic can be read as a one shot. These are all interrelated. Read in this order:

FIRST: Forbidden

SECOND: Forbidden: The Closer I Get To You

THIRD: Forbidden: Muffled Cries

FOURTH: Forbidden: Muffled Cries (part 2) 

The fourth one is a smut yo. haha. I’m not going to post it here! So log in at And tell me if you want more. 😉

ChaeRa love love love love


YG Entertainment to debut an “SNSD-like” group next year

Posted in 2NE1, SNSD on 07/27/2011 by whatevertoni

Read Allkpop article here.


1. Are you kidding me?!

2. Why PAPA YG?

3. My initial reaction was like. “What the hell?”

4. I love YG Entertainment.

5. I love 2NE1 and Bigbang.

6. I’m fond of SNSD, even LOVE some of them.

7. I have so much respect to Papa YG, but boy he never fails to surprise me.

8. To say that he’s going to create a group similar to another group is like him being a copy cat.

9.I hate copy cats because usually they fall short from the group being copied.

10. I guess YG hates stereotypes.

11. I think he also hates being stereotyped.

12. I like both 2NE1 and SNSD.

13. SNSD-like group plus YG swag like 2NE1 is going to be a killer!

14. I’m getting past my initial shock.

15. I trust in YG’s power and judgment that it’s going to be a KILLER group.


Early morning..

Posted in blah, Hyoyeon on 07/27/2011 by whatevertoni

when sleep seems to evade you, you think about everything and anything. You think about the past, the future, and the unremarkable present. You think about the happy times that you can’t go back to. You think about the depressing past that is quite heavy to bring to the present. You think about the failures that you can’t undo. You think about the successes that are no longer relevant. You think about the present that is empty. You think about the future that forever remains uncertain. You think about the love you lost that cannot be brought back. You think about fantasies that are most unlikely to happen.

You want something to happen to your life. You want to be able to say “this is what I was born to do.” You want to justify your existence. You want to prove yourself. You want meaning in your life.

All the thinking leads to nothing. All these thoughts come early in the morning.

*ugh, I need valium I guess.

When you feel fucked up….

Posted in blah with tags , on 07/26/2011 by whatevertoni

just scream PENIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


*I’m watching 500 Days of Summer

gif credit to the owner

What going on Toni

Posted in 2NE1, Chaera, Girls Generation, Hyoyeon, Minzy, SNSD on 07/26/2011 by whatevertoni

ChaeRa fanfic update

I’ve already started writing the continuation of Forbidden: Muffled Cries, a Chaera fanfic. It’s turning out to be a smut. LOL. I’m good at reading those but dang it’s challenging to write one that includes wholesome characters like CL and Dara. It takes a lot of imagination. haha. Well, give me more time and inspiration, I know I’ll be able to finish it.

2NE1’s upcoming album  or mini-album (?)

I’m excited. I’m going to buy it for sure. I really really love 2NE1’s songs. I’m also getting fond of Gong Minzy! I think she’s maturing and her skills are getting even better and better.

SNSD chicks

I know it’s quite uncommon to like both 2NE1 and SNSD. But really, I feel satisfied watching both groups. One group has something that the other one lacks, so my KPOP obsession just becomes fulfilling. I’m still so into Hyoyeon. It has been a year now since I liked her. And I’m also getting fond of Sooyoung. She has this gorgeous face and bright personality. It’s like she can easily show different sides of herself anytime you ask her to. Her gorgeous legs are a killer, too! Sooyoung is like the perfect version of me. haha. I’m like Sooyoung but I lacked some qualities like height, talent for singing and dancing, a confident personality, etc. LOL. My personality is more like Hyoyeon’s. I’m really funny when I’m with people I’m comfortable when. But I’m aloof around people I’m not close with. So anyway, these beautiful yet dorky soshis are really fun to watch. I hope and pray that SME is treating them right.

Personal life

I quit my job for a TV Network. It was just not worth it. It was hard and stressful. The compensation was not really that high. AND I wasn’t happy. I was traumatized about what happened. Up to now, those dark memories still haunt me. It was a really tough time in my last job. I’m thankful for the love, support, and understanding of my family and friends. But I have to be strong. I have to face tomorrow with courage. I failed but I know I can redeem myself.

Love Life

We often feel like no one loves us, no one cares, or no one is interested in us. I have felt that way for a long time. But then I knew just recently that one ex of mine (from long agooo) apparently still looks back to the time we were together. Well, minor hang ups. But I was told that that ex was starting to fall for me again. WHAT!? All the while, I thought I was nothing to that ex. I treated that ex coldly. We were nice to each other, but I was a bit cold. Right now, I’m not sure exactly what I’m feeling. We’re enjoying catching up. Too bad she’s in a relationship right now. This is very hard for her. tsk tsk tsk. As for me, I can go by being solo. I’m used to being all by myself. haha.

God wants me to know…

Prayer is when you talk to God. Meditation is when you become quiet and listen to God. You’ve learned how to talk and ask well. Time to learn how to listen and hear, because God has been answering you.


Posted in blah on 07/19/2011 by whatevertoni

You shouldn’t have to sacrifice who you are just because somebody else has a problem with it. -Carrie Bradshaw


I really do hate it when my choices are being questioned. I hate it when what’s normal for me isn’t normal to the world. I hate it when people are trying to change me. I hate it when everything is just fucking awkward just because it isn’t funny. Fuck it.


Search for meaning

Posted in blah on 07/08/2011 by whatevertoni

Apparently I’m not the only one in the 20’s stage who is searching for something meaningful. My friend also raised her concern about doing something meaningful in life. We’re done with college, and are employed or looking for work. The nagging feeling that we should be doing something meaningful is still with us. Our idealism and desire to change the world is still intact. However, that mindset is endangered of being brainwashed by the materialistic world we live in.

I’m still clinging to that idea that I can still do something meaningful rather than merely existing. Years of studying in an exclusive Catholic school for girls taught me to extend myself to others. We were exposed to a lot of community service to open our minds and hearts of the reality beyond our walled campus. Even in college, we were community service was part of our curriculum. That sense of volunteerism was instilled in me. I am forever bothered that I am not living up to my potential. I think success is not just in achieving things in my life. Success also means touching the lives of others.